When Your Business Makes Your Spouse Unhappy

by Teresa King

January 10 2002 - This article is unfairly geared more toward women then men.. though there will be men who need to know how to manage their time and the problems when the spouse feels neglected. Because women and men are not the same and they do have different needs.

As an online entrepreneur I meet many people from all walks of life. The most common problems are:

* My Spouse is Unhappy
* My Family Doesn't Understand

And for women...

* My Husband wants me to Quit!

So, let's dig into these problems and how to handle them.

To begin with, in a relationship, it takes compromise. It takes understanding that though you are a pair and have common goals, you are also individuals with different desires that do not always make your partner happy.

This does not mean, by any sense of the words that I want you to "walk on eggs" around your spouse. It does mean that you have to make time for your loved ones. Not because that you are afraid of standing up for your rights as an individual, but because you love them.

Being on the net trying to start a business is your goal and your dream, unfortunately, if you are working a full time job, walk in the door, give your spouse a perfunctory kiss, and turn the computer on... Someone, is going to have hurt feelings.

The computer can wait, the email won't walk off and disappear. People on the net know that you are not on the computer 24/7. They expect to wait for an answer. So calm that anxiety about checking your mail.

Your family can't wait, so make time for them. Get them on a schedule. It sounds strange, however it works. Family dinners are getting lost all over the world. This is the time when people should be talking, asking about each other's day and finding out how the kids are doing at school and sharing. Make that time.

Your spouse and each child needs about 1/2 hour of quality time with you. Dinner is generally a ten minute eating session, stretch it out a little bit. MEN, this is a great time to help your wife clear the table, and for you two to talk a bit more.

After the dishes are cleared, and you have thanked her for a wonderful meal, then turn your computer on... set a timer for one hour; stop what you are doing and ask her if she needs anything. When that is done, sit back at your computer and set the timer again.

Women, many of you are at home moms. You have a job, it is a 24 hour job at that. However, when you learn how to streamline your housework and schedule your time to fit in with your husband's time frame, you can easily become a success on the net, and still have a happy husband.

If you are a working mother, then my utmost respect to you, as I know how hard this is for you. You are juggling a tremendous amount of work. Let your spouse know that your goal is to work at home so that in the long run you will have more time to spend with the family, apply what can fit, to your needs in the following part of this article.

Wait until he goes to work to turn your computer on. Have dinner on the table when he comes home, and spend time with him. As soon as he hits that TV... you turn your computer on. Set a timer, for an hour, and check on him.

On the family and their complaints.. if it is relatives, give them a schedule when they can call and visit. Tell them you are working such and such hours like any other job. And, put your foot down!

On children, make sure they are getting the attention they deserve. They do not need attention all the time, and they can learn that mommy has a schedule when they should learn to play quietly or do their homework. Kids are smart and can easily be slipped into a schedule. Consistency always works.

A hint for men: Women like to tell you their problems about their day. Let them talk about it. As a man, you tend to want to fix things for them. Generally, women don't need their day fixed, they just need a kind ear. And, while you are listening, do not look with longing towards your computer.

>A hint for women: Men like to keep their problems on the average locked inside. They like to work their own problems out. However, when they ask for help, be there for them. They are also simple creatures by nature, and seldom like change. They like having their meals at the same time, and to know that chair is waiting for them in the same place it was yesterday.

Many men do not like the idea that their woman wants to work...They hear it as: "You are a failure, you don't make enough money." Tell them this is a personal goal of your own; that it is important to you that you have some successes in your own life; that being a housewife is wonderful, however it is not enough to fulfill your needs. Most men can understand that. Just don't neglect them in your quest for success.

And, most importantly, sit down with your family and tell them what you are doing and what your dreams are and the sacrifices that you are making so those dreams can come true. Then ask them to have faith in you and to help you reach those dreams.

To keep out of arguments, avoid words like "You always," and "You Never".... this will key in an argument faster than you can say Christopher Robinson.

To your improvement with your loved ones!

Copyright Teresa King, January, 2002

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